It has been said that fishermen have big egos. Well, we do. There is no shame in that. In fact, all people have egos. But sometimes these egos get in the way of proper ethics and good sportsmanship. Most times, the ego problems are simple feelings of pride. Other times, the ego can be a real problem, especially where children are concerned. But as long as you can control your ego and that of your youngster, you and your young buddy will be better anglers and people.
This touchy subject came about through a recent experience I had with a Little League baseball group. A friend of mine is a Little League coach and member of a township Little League board of directors. I had the pleasure – and sad misfortune – to watch how some parents and coaches behaved toward the young ball players. Most people were great with the kids and became true mentors. Yet a few set some very bad examples.
While you can make a strong case that baseball and fishing are two different sports and have no bearing on each other, the parental attitudes can be extremely similar. To better understand the problem and prevent ego interference as we teach children how to fish, lets review the Little League ego issues.
ADULTS ARE BETTER. At one of the Little League practices, I witnessed a big burly “coach” pitching balls to his 10-year-old batters. He purposely threw the balls too fast for the youngsters to hit. His uncomplimentary comments to the young batters seemed to indicate that he was proving to the boys that he was a better pitcher than they were batters. Hey, buddy, a 40-something pitcher should be.
Fortunately, the head coach intervened on the kids’ behalf. But you have to wonder what that pitching “coach” was trying to prove. His ego as a pitcher overpowered his mandate to coach. Worse, the kids suffered. They did not learn how to hit baseballs. Instead, many got frustrated and left the field somewhat depressed. Such events are likely to affect the future play of those Little Leaguers.
The above scenario can be applied to fishing. During a youth fishing camp I attended last summer, one of the fishing coaches stood on the bow of his boat casting ahead of the boat. On the back deck, his young student was struggling to get a cast to a good spot. When weigh-in time came, the guide proudly showed off a 4-pound largemouth bass. His rider, sadly, got skunked. Conversely, the better coaches – who were in the majority – laughed at their own 12-inchers. But they got to brag about the 2-pound bass their students caught.
The next day, Mr. Ego helped his young partner catch a few good fish.
Sometimes when we go fishing with the younger set, we forget to give them the best casting opportunities. Most times we simply know that our young fishing companions cannot cast accurately enough to get their lures into the tight bass haunts. So we instinctively make the cast and hook the bass.
In this situation, call your buddy up and whisper confidently that you are sure there is a bass in that tight spot. Ask the youngster if he or she wants to try to catch the bass. They will certainly answer with an enthusiastic yes. At that point you can negotiate who will cast the lure. Most youngsters realize their casting limitations and will consent to let you make the cast. Once the fish hits, let the youngster reel in the fish.
From the psychological point, both egos are fulfilled in the above scenario. The youngster gets the benefit of catching a big fish and you get the benefit of knowing that you were able to find the fish. But the best part is that you get the pleasure of seeing your student catch a fish and your student will remember that day forever. And that pleasure is a better feeling than an inflated ego.
PARENTAL PRIDE. At the end of the Little League season, several townships merged together to create “all-star” teams. After seeing the parental politics and kid disappointments, I have to wonder why any youth sporting organization allows all-star teams at all. Listen to this story:
When the coaches got together to pick the all-star team, several parents showed up to lobby for their kids. In the end, parental pride diluted the all-star team’s talent. After that meeting, the team coaches had to go tell the kids who made the all-star team and who didn’t. The egos after that scene by both parents and all-star ballplayers got extra inflated. I can only imagine how the “mediocre” players felt.
All-star teams are not a normal part of the fishing scene. But states with numerous youth fishing clubs often try to get the clubs to compete against each other. This teaching technique is a good idea as long as the clubs don’t transform into all-star-type fishing tournaments. Make sure all the kids in the club get an equal opportunity to fish. And if your child is a member of the group, don’t show favoritism. Hold your parental pride in check.
WIN AT ALL COSTS. The spirit of Little League is to give all the young ballplayers the chance to play. But some coaches primarily play their better players in order to win baseball games. These wins come at the expense of the players with less skill. In other words, the coaches bent the rules to satisfy their ego to become a winning coach.
In the fishing world, never bend the rules to take advantage of the situation or to win a tournament. That sends the wrong message to the youngsters. Obey the fishing regulations and boating laws. Even breaking the boating speed limit makes a poor example for youngsters. And that subliminal message could carry over into their adult lives. If we all watch our egos and obey the rules, the world will be a better place.
Frank McKane Jr. is a nationally known outdoor writer with over 4,000 magazine and newspaper pieces published during his 12-year career. He caught his first fish at 6 months of age and, ever since, has studied the ways of the outdoorsman. With a degree in environmental chemistry, he is dedicated to protecting the environment and promoting outdoor sports for children and adults.